This blog continues on from part one and two which explains a concrete method to increasing your leadership influence. Part one covered genuine interest and building relationships. Part two continued to explain how you can build better relationships. Part three discusses the importance of empathy as a leader.
Part One, Two and Three are all available to read!
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Leaders show empathy not apathy. In management we are taught to think. Organise a meeting and think of a solution. In leadership we need to feel. We need to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. Kennedy, during a speech in in the midst of the Cold War in 1963, shows how important it was to show empathy not apathy. During his address he spoke respectfully and kindly of the Soviet Union. Rather than deciding to point blame he took an empathetic approach. This reportedly reduced tensions between the two nations. From launching pushing for a civil rights bill to end racial segregation, to trying to avoid conflict with the Soviet Union, one of John. F. Kennedy’s greatest lessons could be from his ability to build connections and show empathy.
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“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”
Stephen. R. Covey
In order to show empathy, we need to let go of our belief that everything we say is right. We need to first listen, not only with our ears but also our eyes. See what is going on. Then ask open questions and make no judgments. Every person has their own view on life and being judgemental is a very quick way to destroy a relationship. Tony Robbins, explains that during his ‘You Have No Problems’ seminars he cannot belittle another person’s problem. If he did, he would lose his ability to influence them. Gain an understanding from their point of view and imagine yourself in that position. As people we all cope with problems differently and as leaders, we can decide on how we approach those problems. Do we just assume and then dictate? If we do, we may get a short term result but in the long term we create a ripple effect which creates a bigger issue. If however, we show empathy then we give ourselves the opportunity to understand the real cause of the problem. From there we can either fix the problem, or just be there to listen as some problems are not ours to fix. Showing empathy not apathy allows you to deconstruct the defences people construct and opens up a pathway for building better relationships.
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Although it may seem tough to begin with, by consistently making a conscious effort to build open and more meaningful relationships, you will see a huge boost in your ability to influence others. Over time being genuinely interested in people, asking open questions and exercising empathy will become natural to you as a leader.
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How to reference this page
- Toor, J. (2019). How to increase leadership influence, part three? Available at: https://pmgrowth.co/how-to-increase-leadership-influence,-part-three?/
Inspirations
- John F Kennedy, the 35th President of the United States of America
- Stephen. R. Covey, author of ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’
- Tony Robbins