Quick fire leadership questions: Part 5

Welcome to part three of this series of posts where I tackle quick fire leadership questions. I receive lots of questions from various platforms which require concise answers. So in this series I will be sharing my responses to these questions.

Did you miss part one, two, three or four?

Question 1: “How do I become more of a mature leader?” – Jay Sans

There are multiple steps on how to become more mature as a leader, however the single most effective method for exponential maturity is self-awareness. I’d like to share a personal experience as to why I see this as the first area to focus on.

A couple of years ago I worked on a project where a new Director was brought in. His immediate mandate was to demand, bully and strike fear into those who didn’t do exactly as he said. As someone who strongly disagrees with this method, and the mistreatment of others, I clashed with the new Director (to the point he threatened to sack me). I knew that this relationship couldn’t continue in this way, so I looked inwards which led me to self-awareness as this is the first step to achieve any growth.

I realised that the relationship was destructive and needed to change. So rather that blame the Director, I looked at myself first. I realised that I didn’t take the time to understand why he was behaving in this way. By being self-aware of the situation and relationship I was able to come to the conclusion that I was part of the problem and not behaving in tune with my values. Being headstrong and direct myself I allowed myself to be drawn into behaving in the same way as the Director was, which I didn’t like. I was grateful for this.

Self-awareness allows you to remove your ego from the equation and look to yourself first to understand how you can adapt to the situation and become a better leader.

If you are trying to mature as a leader then no matter the challenge or situation, the way to act is determined by your ability to control you emotions. So, rather than acting without thinking, exercising self-awareness will allow you to question your thoughts and feelings first before you act. This is a simple way to demonstrate maturity through Emotional Intelligence and authentic behaviour.

Question 2: “Do incompetent or lousy managers know they’re bad?” – Keith Dale

Unfortunately, in many cases no. This is because of three key factors:

1. Lack of self-awareness
2. Lack of adaptability
3. High levels of ego

Using your example of a manager, when a manager is not self-aware of their behaviours or failings then they will continue to do that same thing over and over again – I believe that’s the definition of insanity!

Building on that, if a manager is not adaptable or open to change, then regardless of how much constructive feedback they receive they will again continue to do the same thing. If a manager takes a moment to be open to change and accept their shortcomings (self-awareness) then they can catapult themselves forward in growth.

The most important factor that that stops growth is a person’s ego. An incompetent manager may associate their position with power. When they do this, they focus their attention inflating their ego which blinds them to their failings. However, when a manager lets their ego go, they continue to grow which displays confidence.

Question 3: “Do the advantages of being a manager typically outweigh the stresses of it, and why or why not?” – Mary Scott

The negatives of any role are subjective as stresses are personal and always in transition, for example, what may stress a manager out one day, may not the next.

So to answer your question, it really depends on whether the manager is able to find a balance in the role. I believe a fundamental component in finding balance, is joy. Finding joy in an activity is a critical component of creating a healthy environment.

For example, on a recent project I was under constant pressure to deliver by the client and was managing a team of 25 in order to make this happen. Fortunately, I never felt stressed because I enjoyed the project, the team and the role. However, another manager working on another part of the project felt stressed all the time despite doing a similar role. When we spoke I understood the difference maker being joy. I found joy in my day to day activities whereas the other manager didn’t. There are many factors which can affect this, but ultimately, the determination of happiness in management is dependent on whether the manager finds joy in the role or not.

I will always be open to tackling challenging leadership questions, so if you have a burning question please do reach out and I will write a response.

Thank you for reading, JT