Being Emotionally Intelligent can no longer be ignored. I do not believe that Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a passing fad. I truly believe that being Emotionally Intelligent is a must for all people looking to lead any aspect of their life. But how do you do it? In part one I explained why EI is so important and why you need to start acting on it. In part two I will explain how you can start to become Emotionally Intelligent.
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You’re already doing so much. You’re too busy. You’ve got so much going on and just don’t have time to focus on developing your EI. Agreed, there are so many websites, videos and books telling dozens of things that you should be doing. But, that’s difficult, I know. I’ve been there and still am there. It’s hard to learn and implement 15 new things that you must do all from tomorrow and suddenly develop EI. Well, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t need to be that way. On my journey of EI I looked at it differently. I said to myself, what are three behaviours that I can implement into my daily life; in conversation with my wife, family, team, bosses or friends. I discovered that this journey does not need to be a difficult one. The shifts can easily be made if I did one thing: remain conscious of how my emotions are affecting me.
Your emotions drive your behaviours, which in turn drives your actions. And it is your actions which define your level of influence.
Take for example, during a meeting there is a heated conversation between two colleagues where they are blaming your mistake as the reason the project failed. What do you do in this scenario? Do you fight back and defend your corner? Do you call bullshit and say it was their fault? How do you imagine that scenario would play out? In my experience, not very well. That kind of response will only lead to further conflict.
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Now, imagine that same scenario, but this time before you respond you think before you speak (how many times have you heard that before). Before you act in haste, ask yourself internally, why am I feeling like this? How is this affecting me? What is causing me to feel angry/ frustrated/ sad? This time, instead of fighting back you did the following:
- Admitted fault
- Agreed that poor communication around the issue has led to this problem
- Spoken kindly about how you also feel they have contributed to this error
- Openly suggested how you can move forward together.
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How do you think that scenario would play out? 100 times better! Asking yourself these kinds of questions will allow you to reframe the way you let your emotions drive your behaviours. Then, you can tweak your behaviours to create a more Emotionally Intelligent action!
Incredible right. By being conscious of how your emotions drive your behaviours will allow you to tweak your behaviours to drive your behaviours so you can create a positive event. These tweaks can be incorporated into everything you do. There is no long training course to go on. There is no long winded exercise. There is no long waiting list. You can do this anytime, anyplace and with anyone.
So far I have explained why EI is so important. I have explained how you can start this journey and in part three I will explain 3 simple behaviours that you can implement right now into your life. However, the next step is up to you.
Are you happy at your current position? If so, ignore part three. But, if you want to make a positive impact in your life, just like I did in mine, then you need to read part three.
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How to reference this page
- Toor, J. (2020). Three Behaviours of Emotionally Intelligent Leaders, Part Two. Available at: https://pmgrowth.co/three-behaviours-of-emotionally-intelligent-leaders,-part-two/