This blog continues on from part one, providing you with the tools to overcome resistant. In part one, I explained the importance of emotions and how you can bring your subconscious emotions to the conscious. If you haven’t read part one I suggest that you do by clicking here, then come back to read part two. In part two I will provide you with one tool for overcoming your emotions, which are seemingly uncontrollable.
We cannot control our emotions. That statement is 50% right and 50% wrong. The former is correct because we cannot control the emotions we feel when a something happens. For example, if someone drove into your car whilst it was parked on the side of the street, you may feel anger. I know, because that is exactly what happened to me. The latter is also correct because it is up to us on what we do when we feel those emotions, essentially how do we behave.
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Before I tell you the tool, I want to tell you a story about a car. This was a few years ago when I used to live with my parents. “Wake up! Someone’s done a hit and run!” My deep sleep was broken by those alarming words. It was around 2am and fortunately, my brother was awake. He heard the crunching sound of two cars making contact. As I walked outside I was overcome with anger. I saw the first car I ever purchased, a gun-metal grey Ford Focus, crumpled as someone had smashed into it and fled leaving the engine still running. As we waited for the Police to arrive, my brother and I were stood outside. I had calmed down by that point, when a man in a brown jacket walked past. I thought nothing of it, except when my brother then said “I’m sure he was wearing a brown jacket”, then the guy started sprinting. Filled with rage, so did I. I eventually caught up to him as he was trying to hide underneath a car, bad move. As I approached him, he stood up and reach to pull a knife out of his jacket. Luckily, I saw that he had left the knife in his car. As I tackled him to the ground, I then looked at him, drunk, disorientated, scared and I thought to myself, “what do I gain out of beating this man? I have restrained him and Police are on the way. I could stand him and beat him senseless, but what do I gain?”
The point here is that no matter our emotions, our minds give us the opportunity to control them. So how do we do this? Here’s the tool that worked for me years ago and I still use to this day: Question yourself.
When you feel an emotion you don’t like, such as: sadness, shame, anger or frustration. Ask yourself these three questions:
- Why am I feeling like this?
- What do I gain from feeling like this?
- What are the positives I can take from this situation?
These three questions have had a profound impact on my life and I know then will have a huge impact on yours. These questions allow you to take control of seemingly uncontrollable emotions allowing you the ability to consciously decide how you behave.
In part 3 I will explain one tool on how you can overcome resistance in others. I hope this blog brought you value. It took me years to learn this so I urge you to act and make a difference in your life and so that you don’t miss out on the rest, go the subscribe box, input your details and hit the subscribe button.
How to reference this page
- Toor, J. (2020). Deal with resistance like a pro, part one. Available at: https://pmgrowth.co/deal-with-resistance-like-a-pro,-part-two