In part two of this two part blog I will be sharing tools which can help you build your mental resilience, solving another problem! These are tools which I have spent the last 10 years learning, developing and exercising. And, they actually work! I strongly recommend ready part one before moving on to the tools!
Before I proceed I want to make one thing very clear. Each person is completely different. Every single one of us handles pressure and stress differently and is affected by a variety of different things. This most important part to understand is that this does not mean you cannot build a mentally resilient mind. You have the power to change and make a difference. It will not however, be easy. This is a journey and requires your commitment to action! If you are ready to take action, then say “I AM READY” and read on.
It is important to understand that there is no real definition for mental resilience because mental resilience is specific to YOU. However, this does not provide us with a guide or goal. So in order to give you a goal I have defined mental resilience as below:
“Adaptability in challenging situations whilst maintaining a stable mental well-being”
Tool 1: Self-awareness
The first step to any form of personal growth is self-awareness. In the Three A’s method I use, this is the Attention section. Part one of this blog helps you with this tool. I strongly recommend doing the exercise in part one.
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Tool 2: Focus on you
Have you ever noticed that when you start to focus on something you start to notice it everywhere? Don’t believe me? Look around you now. A full 360 degrees. How many red items did you spot? Now, look around and count everything red. You noticed more right? That’s how our brain works. The same goes for you. If you focus on putting yourself first, for example, focusing on activities that make you calmer and happier, your brain will start to look for the things that make you happier and calmer. Here are some suggestions to focus on:
- Breath – This is like meditating, even for one minute
- Take a break – If you feel like things are building up, take a break.
- Airplane Mode – Your phone is a huge distraction and can create stress. Switch on Airplane mode!
- Empathy – Rather than criticising everything others do, try to see things from their point of view.
Tool 3: Failing is not failure
Failure is not bad. You associate negativity with the word failure because this is how we have been conditioned since childhood; not to failure and to be perfect. You need to accept that you are not perfect and never will be because perfection is subjective. A better way to view failure is to treat is as experience, something to learn from!
Tool 4: Celebrate
Celebrate wins! Narrowing in on successes is harder to do than expanding on what went wrong. Again, this is because of how we’ve been conditioned. We have been conditioned to punish ourselves when things go wrong but not the opposite. Practicing celebrating successes, small and big, reinforces positive behaviours which increases motivation. Here are some celebrations you can implement:
- Go for a meal
- Take a holiday
- Go for team drinks
- Watch a film
- Buy an item of clothing
Tool 5: An honest conversation
“A problem shared is a problem halved”. We’ve all heard this saying. My take on this is not to go telling the world about all of your problems, instead find a trusted person to have an open conversation with. BUT, here’s the trick. So that it is not just having a moan, focus on creating a positive outcome at the start of the conversation. State what you want the outcome to be. Here are some tips:
- “I want to come up with a solution to problem”
- “I would just like you to listen so I can get this off my chest”
- “I would like your opinion”
An open and honest conversation can have a huge impact of our state of mind for the better.
Tool 6: The power of positive language
We have been conditioned over the last 15, 20, 30 and even 40 years to focus on the negatives, because it is easy. The most successful people train themselves to focus on the positives. One way of doing this is by changing your language. Here are some examples:
- Rather than “I’m not good at that”, say “I can improve on this”
- Rather than “I’m not worthy”, say “I deserve this”
- Rather than “I’m stressed”, say “I have a lot on and this is how I’ll solve it”
Thank you for reading, JT.
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How to reference this blog
- Toor. J (2019). Learn how to build mental resilience now, part two? Available at: https://pmgrowth.co/learn-how-to-build-mental-resilience-now,-part-two/