Mindfulness and Leadership Part Five: Control

Mindfulness can often be used as a tool or process to help you better understand control, or as better described, self-control. People who practice mindfulness often speak about how they feel more in control of themselves. So, how can that help you in leadership?

Although there are hugely popular and successful people who practice mindfulness, what I am curious about is where practicing mindfulness can benefit the everyday leader. The aspiring, seasoned or expert leader who everyday has to deal with a multitude of problems, decisions and people. Therefore, in this five-part series I will be discussing five areas of mindfulness and exploring benefits to leadership behaviours. Part one covered the first two areas: Self-awareness & Gratitude. Part two explained the second area: Visualising. Part three captured Unconscious Awareness. Part four explored Happiness. With Part five I will end the series with the next area, which is one I incorporate as part of my routine: Control.

Also, as a reward for making it to the end of the series, I will share how I incorporate these steps into my life.

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Why?

I want you to imagine that you are a Project Manager on a complex project. As a Project Manager, you face many problems which all seem to run through you, and you take all of these problems’ solutions on as a personal crusade.

Unfortunately, this constant need to control and own every problem is causing your personal problems. It is leading to stress, anxiety, a lack of sleep, a lack of time to exercise and see your family which is deteriorating your health overall. This is happening because of two simple reasons: your need to control everything and lack of willingness to let things go.

Now, depending on your environment the root cause of these could be a multitude of reasons, such as:

• Growing up being taught that you must control everything
• Feeling that if you don’t solve everything it will make you look weak
• Not practicing the art of delegation
• A lack of trust in others

You have a choice at this point. You can either continue the way you are or make a change. If you choose the latter then read on.

This section of mindfulness, control, allows you to do make three key steps:

1. Think and process problem thoughts
2. Understand what is within and outside your sphere of control
3. Take action on the problems you can control and practice letting go of the problem you cannot.

I want to take a moment to explain what exactly the sphere of control is. Take a look at the image below. The line of the circle is essential the border between what you can and cannot directly control. The key word here is directly. If your direct action solves the problem then you place it inside the blue circle. If someone else needs to solve the problem then you place it outside the circle or within the red circle. For example, on the complex project mentioned above, you have a problem whereby one of your contractor’s suppliers are delayed. This may be a problem, but nothing you can do can directly solve that problem. But, you could task the contractor to finding out how to improve the delay. Therefore, this problem would be outside of your direct control.

The sphere of control helps you mentally place problems that you can and cannot directly control.

How?

So how do you get to the point where you do not let problems and issues build up within your mind and become a weight on your shoulders? How do you learn to quickly determine whether or not you need to take action or you can pass the action onto someone else?

When I went through this process I was in a similar position to the example I explained above. I was a Project Manager where every problem seemed to run through me, and that was because it did. It was because I took on every problem as a crusader out to save the world. Unfortunately, that ended up leaving me too stretched to actually do the job I needed to do. As I explained in part one: self-awareness, fortunately I became self-aware of the problem before it became too big of a problem. I took action before the pressure became stress. What I found is that the key is two factors:

1. Practice understanding what is within and outside of your sphere of control
2. Accepting that you cannot control everything which allows you to let go

Once I started practicing the sphere of control I was able to determine what I need to control and what I could let others control for me. I found that this actually helped me become not only a better manager, but a better leader, both at work and in life.

How can this help you as a leader?

Going back to the above example, this is often the case as a leader where you face complex and difficult challenges, but take everything on personally. By understanding what is within and outside your sphere on control allows you to determine, not only what exactly you can and cannot control, but what exactly you should and shouldn’t control. Then you can create an action plan or make decisions to solve the problems.

As I explain in my A.R.E Leadership Model, there are three core areas that a leader must exhibit; Adaptability, Right Behaviours and Experience. The sphere of control is one tool which helps you satisfy all three categories. By exercising this tool and working to the A.R.E Leadership Model, you will display higher levels of Emotional Intelligence and become a better leader.

What?

Step five in the mindfulness and leadership plan is to place your problem thoughts and determine your sphere of control. This allows you to focus your thoughts, determine, not only what exactly you can and cannot control, but what exactly you should and shouldn’t control. Here are the steps for you to do that:

1. Take a few minutes to just sit, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and focus your thoughts to what is happening in your day, particular on the thoughts which you are trying to, or struggling to control.
   • There may be many so start with one problem.
2. Part One: Identification of your sphere of control
   • Place the issue/ thought in your mind, or write them down (this may be easier)
   • Draw a circle in your mind or on paper.
   • Think through the issue and determine whether or not you can directly control the issue. This is a yes or no answer.
   • If it’s yes, place the thought within the circle, if no, place it outside the circle
3. Part Two: Acceptance
   • Take a deep breath, inhale and exhale
   • Acknowledge that the issue is within or outside of your direct control. Keyword: Direct
   • Accept that the issue is within or outside of your direct control. Keyword: Direct and let go of the thoughts outside of your control.
4. Part Three: Plan
   • For the thoughts within your direct control, create a plan on how to solve it.
   • For the thoughts outside of your direct control, determine who you need to speak too in order to move the issue in the right direction.
   • Again, accept that some problems are outside of your direct control.
5. Repeat this for other thoughts/ issues.
6. Take a deep breath, inhale and exhale.

By practicing the sphere of control tool you will a reduction in stress, anxiety and the feeling of not having control. You will be able to focus on behaving like a leader, displaying higher levels of Emotional Intelligence and see an overall improvement in your ability to successfully deliver more complex challenges.

Routine steps

To answer the question I asked from the very beginning, “Does mindfulness have value in leadership?” My answer is yes. The leadership journey can be a very difficult one, faced with many challenges, moments which make you question why you do what you do, and can lead to intense states of emotions. In order to overcome these emotional challenges, a leader requires discipline. Mindfulness is a method of managing that process to practice and develop discipline.

I have mentioned this previously, but these routines may seem onerous at first, but once you begin to practice each category then you can decide on which routine you require at which time, for example, if you are in a moment where you feel like you are not in control as a leader, then you can go through the mindfulness control steps.

Now, as promised, here is the routine I use:

Daily mindfulness practice – a short routine that can vary between 2-5 minutes depending on how you feel. I find the best time to practice this is in the mornings.

1. Gratefulness – Quite the mind and visualise what I am grateful for – focus on that image for a moment
2. Visualisation – Visualise my goals and reaffirm that I will achieve them – focus on that feeling of drive
3. Unconscious awareness – Re-focus my mind and be present. Bring forward those thoughts of doubt, negativity and fear. Accept those thoughts for what they are; a natural reaction of the mind. Now concentrate on how I will push past and overcome those doubts.

Mindfulness practice when required – I practice these steps when I feel the moment requires me too.

1. Happiness – If I find I am in a low mood I will take a few minutes to quite my mind and focus on expectations by asking myself questions like:
   • Am I expecting too much of myself here?
   • Am I expecting too much of others?
   • Do I feel that I am doing enough towards my goals?
2. Control – If I find that I am not in control I will take a few minutes to quite my mind and focus on the sphere of control by filtering out what is inside and outside my sphere, then focusing on what I can control and what I can do to influence/ help what I cannot control.

With that I bring to an end this five-part series on Mindfulness and Leadership. Within this series I have covered Self-awareness & gratitude, Visualising, Unconscious awareness, Happiness and Control. I have also answered the question, “Does mindfulness have value in leadership?” Now, you may not need all of the tools that I have shared, but now you have the tools at your disposal, so if you do need them, you have them. However, I will remind you that, no matter what stage of your leadership journey you are at, these tools will be beneficial so give them a try and see if they work for you. By no means am I saying that my steps are the “fix” for someone with mental health challenges, but I have found that these five steps have helped me develop a mentally resilient mind and they could help you too!

I encourage you to share this series with your friends, family and colleagues as one tries to lead their life, business or career, managing our mental health is essential to success and longevity and these tools could be lifesaving.

Thank you for reading, JT