Part two explains what YOU need to do to become a respectful leader. In part one I discussed why a leader is able to quickly assert themselves on a new team whereas a manager tends to struggle despite ‘knowing’ what to do. It was established that leaders not only know what behaviours they need to exhibit, they actually exhibit those behaviours. I explained that there are two types of assertive people:
- The aggressive manager
- The respectful leader
I previously explained why the respectful leader is able to see more success than the aggressive manager. Now I will discuss how a leader does it and what YOU need to do.
A leader understands that success comes from support. In order to make a difference the leader needs to connect with the team. Building a relationship comes first. A respectful leader takes to time, when joining a team, to understand, listen and communicate. They form bonds with their team. This way they can begin to understand what the team actually do, what are their blockers and how they can solve them. The leader finds ways to relate to each team member and shows them respect whilst doing so. The leader genuinely wants to help the team.
After as little as a few weeks, the team see the leader as genuine and begin to gravitate toward them. The leader is now in a position to assert themselves on the team, in a respectful way. The leader continues to maintain the relationships, behaves empathetically and understands the problems. So that when direction or tasks are given out the team feel part of those decisions and tasks. This is how a leader becomes respectfully assertive.
So, what do you need to do to avoid becoming an aggressive manager and work towards becoming a respectful leader? There are many behaviours that managers must exhibit but here are three actions you can start doing right now to become respectfully assertive:
1 Build a connection
Being respectfully assertive means that you’re able to influence another. Without a relationship you cannot influence someone. Great leaders, with years of experience, are instantly able to connect with someone and start to build a connection. But this takes practice. Something you can start doing right now. Start by taking the time to genuinely get to know them. Get to know their personality, their background, what makes them angry and happy. The important part here is that you do this, not to manipulate them, but to connect with them.
2 Be empathetic
We are all human and are all different. We all have different pressures and different ways of dealing with them. A respectful leader is empathetic of their team’s issues and tries to genuine help where possible. A respectful leader takes the time to understand the workload of their team and finds ways to ease the pressure on the team. This understanding allows the leader to make their teams lives easier, which increases influence, thus increasing their ability to be more assertive.
3 Give respect to earn respect
Don’t be a dick. Simple. Giving respect allows a leader to earn respect which creates a more assertive position within the team.
Thank you for reading, JT.
How to reference this page
- Toor, J. (2019). How to be respectfully assertive, part two? Available at: https://pmgrowth.co/how-to-be-respectfully-assertive,-part-two?